Oftentimes, we hear that men have been told to suppress their emotions and “man up” or “tough it out” throughout the course of their life. This sort of toxic masculinity is what leads men to struggle with their mental health and hesitate reaching out in times of need. It’s time to leave this mindset in the past and learn how to offer emotional support to our friends experiencing personal hardships. If you’re feeling lost on how to lend a hand to your brothers, follow along with this guide: 

Educate Yourself 

The first step is to educate yourself on what exactly your friend is going through. Research the common signs and symptoms to gain a better understanding of what they may be experiencing. If your friend is going through a period of depression but you have never lived through this yourself, then you won’t be able to visualize what they are feeling mentally. Educating yourself will allow you to practice empathy and put yourself in their shoes.

Start the Conversation

Your friend might be scared to start the conversation out of fear of criticism and rejection – take initiative and share your own experiences to encourage them to do the same. This can help alleviate some of the pressure and make your friend feel more open to expressing their emotions. Start the conversation in a comfortable environment. Normalize vulnerability, let them know that it’s okay to not be okay. 

Listen Carefully

When we see someone we care about facing a struggle, we immediately want to figure out what we can do to solve their problem – however, these types of problems are not a quick fix and take time to heal from. Be patient with them and offer a listening ear. Sometimes all your friend really needs is someone to vent to without fear of judgment. Provide a safe space for your friend to express themselves. Don’t interrupt or jump to conclusions, let them share their story at their own pace. 

Be Respectful 

Even though you want to be there for your friend, be respectful of their boundaries and personal space. Your friend may need some time alone to process their emotions – and that’s perfectly normal. Check in with them regularly to see what they need and let them know that you are for them when they are ready. Learn how to provide support from a distance. Know that one day your friend may be in a great mood and retreat into isolation the next. Be cognizant and don’t take it personally. 

Professional Help

If you suspect your friend is severely struggling, encourage them to reach out to a mental health professional. Help break the stigma surrounding men’s mental health and normalize therapy. Share resources for your friend. It may seem small, but even driving your friend to an appointment and offering support there can make a huge difference. Seeking out help is nothing to be ashamed about; it saves lives. 

While providing support for your friend, remember to properly take care of yourself too. You can’t be there for others when you put yourself on the back burner. Your needs matter too.